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Struggling with loneliness

Sunday, November 29, 2009


Thanksgiving to Christmas always feels like running a marathon for me. This is my least favorite time of year.

I struggle against crushing loneliness that threatens to overwhelm my soul. We were not created to live alone, without a significant other, without a deeply intimate, emotional, spiritual, physical relationship and yet, here I am, alone.

Christians from the past like C.S. Lewis testify that I am settling for far less than God intends.

I don't know where "he" is or how to find him so I'm trusting God that He will guide "him" to find me.

"If we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."

-from C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory

"The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delights in his way." -Psalm 37:23, American King James Version

I'm trusting God...


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